Attention

I received a message, very clearly, over the course of a few weeks, saying "You are a very powerful person." Over and over, people I'd meet would say to me, "You are powerful." So it wasn't just in my mind that I got the message, but from people around me. "You are so powerful."

Shortly after that, another message came, and this one was less clear. The message was that it's this very power, undirected, that results in the health problems I face. I knew that I would need to learn something about my power and how use it, in order to heal fully, and have the kind of life I envisioned for myself. I figured I'd continue the work I was doing, meditate more, read some books, train in martial arts, and those things would be the road for finding out whatever it was I needed to know.

But instead, those things are just fun stuff around the edges. It turns out that what I needed was to jump down the rabbit hole, through the looking glass, off the edge of infinity. And here's what I found when I got there.

I found my attention. I held it in my hand, saw it, felt its power. I moved it around, I threw it at things... and I mean all of this literally. These are not metaphors--at least not in the usual sense. I would count this among the things that are unseen and unexplained, so in that sense, metaphor, yes. But I really did hold it. I really did feel its power. And that power--I don't know what to compare it to. There's simply nothing.

Now I am a warrior. I have seen the power of my attention, and I've also seen, since that discovery, all kinds of people and things that would diffuse it or disrupt it. I'll not let it happen. This conviction is even stronger than my protective instincts about my children. I *will not* let my attention be hi-jacked, diluted, or stolen. I have pure, clear knowledge that this is the most precious thing I've ever had my hands on, and I'm not going to let it get away.