Wanna-be Buddhist

I have heard people tell me that they don't want to study Karate (or any martial art) because, they say, it's not practical, or it's too structured, too choreographed to be worthwhile. I've even heard students complain that endless punches and blocks will not help them to become... whatever it is they hope to become.

But what I've noticed is that the sempai at our dojo are amazing people. If they got to be the way they are by doing ten thousand middle punches, then I will do ten thousand middle punches. It's pretty simple.

So why is it that when it comes to Zen Buddhism, I whine, just like these folks who reject martial arts?

See, I don't think Buddhism is a very good idea. There are plenty of reasons. Westerners, I tell myself, can't really be Buddhist. We can only be Wanna-be-Buddhists. And there are all sorts of philosophical problems with non-attachment. And what's wrong with dualism? You can't have A and not-A, right? All that stuff about ancestors, yuck. And while I have ideas about The God-Force That Is Love, and All That Is, when people start talking specifics I quickly begin looking like an atheist. "Lord Buddha," indeed. Harumph.

For years (and I mean years) I've been picking bits and pieces, reading great masters, and telling myself, I guess, that it's just sheer luck that these teachers are so dang wise.

What's finally sinking in is that these folks have something figured out. I'm not saying they're perfect, but when I look at the people who do call themselves Buddhist, I think that maybe, whatever my monkey-mind has to say, I could stand to learn a thing or two. I think that they're clearing a pretty nice path, and maybe I should drop my machete and follow them instead.

So while I'm not quite ready to call myself a Buddhist, I think I am ready to shut up and sit. Close the door, will you?